Women Asking for Money
- Shelby Daly
- Jul 3
- 2 min read
Women simply don't ask for more money. We need to stop this stereotypical waiting game and be more strategic.
Research shows men are four times more likely than women to ask for a salary raise, which has a detrimental snowball effect on long term compensation.
💸 By not negotiating your job at the beginning of your career, you're leaving anywhere between $1 million and $1.5 million on the table in lost earnings over your lifetime..... And this doesn't even include company retirement contributions.

A small pay boost will mean bigger annual raises and possibly bigger bonuses and it will carry over to a new employer, who is almost certain to ask: What was your last salary?
Women wait to be offered a salary increase, they wait to be offered a promotion, they wait to be assigned the task or team or job that they want. And those things typically don't happen very often in the business world.
This hesitation may be for preservation. It turns out that when women do negotiate, it can backfire.
😵 'Way Too Aggressive'
To be clear, both men and women think this way about women negotiating exactly like a man, with the same exact negotiation script.
How do women ask for more yet avoid this societal backlash?
Various strategies were tested, and some were found that work. Women can justify their request by saying their team leader, thought they should ask for a raise. Or they can convince the boss their negotiating skills are good for the company.
🎯 The trick, is to conform to a feminine stereotype: appear friendly, warm and concerned for others above yourself.
Ask an opening open-ended question followed by the most powerful negotiation tool, silence. The other person feels uncomfortable and will start talking
🎯 Silence Is Golden
Having the comfort to explain to the employer about 'This is the value that I give you.' Learning to honestly assess your skills based on their market value.
🎯 Speaking Up
Linda Babcock has decided real change must start young. She's launched an effort to teach negotiating skills to girls and came up with this new twist on an old tradition: Girl Scouts can now carry out a series of 10 negotiations to earn a badge called "Win-Win."
Women deserve more. The key is knowing how to ask for it.
Reference:
Ludden, J. Ask For A Raise? Most Women Hesitate. NPR. 2011. https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133599768/ask-for-a-raise-most-women-hesitate
This is an important and timely conversation! It is astounding to see the potential losses women experience over their lifetimes from not negotiating from the beginning. The agency women demonstrate in negotiating, and the social consequences they experience for being assertive, clearly shows that settlement norms are still profoundly entrenched in the workplace. I especially enjoyed the practical tactics of silence, and using team contributions to justify a raise. The key is that women are taking back the power in equal measure and define a new discussion about negotiation. I was reminded of my colleagues in research and academia that do not negotiate for themselves, especially when they deal with a journal publishing company. Knowing how to use their voice…